I Wish Time Had a Pause Button

I still remember the day we found out we were pregnant. That tiny strip changed everything. There was excitement, joy, nervous laughter, and this strange feeling inside me that wanted to fast forward life just to get a glimpse of our baby. But life doesn’t work like that. You can’t skip the wait, no matter how badly you want to.

The months that followed felt slow. Not in a peaceful way, but in the kind of slow that comes with worry. I was constantly stressed about the baby’s safety. Every little thing would make me anxious, and I’d end up calling the doctor far more than I should have. Honestly, I think I nearly irritated her with all my questions.

Lovely, on the other hand, stayed calm. At least that’s how it seemed. I never really understood how she managed it. Maybe it was her connection with the baby. Maybe somewhere deep inside, she was hearing a little voice saying, “Mama, I am ok.”

I even told Lovely that I was planning to get a PlayStation. Not for fun, but just to keep my mind distracted when I wasn’t working. Anything to keep myself from overthinking.

Those nine months dragged on. It felt like they would never end. But now, seven months into holding our baby in our arms, time feels like it is slipping away too quickly. Every day flies by. Every week vanishes before I can even process it.

Sometimes, I wish I could just slow everything down. I want to enjoy every little moment, every tiny movement, every sound, every silly smile. I want to freeze time and live in these memories while they are still happening.

Because I know one day, I’ll look back at all this and wonder how it all went by so fast.